Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Wenonah in the Summer

We'd leave the shore at the end of June, beginning of July, and return to Wenonah. Two weeks in the relatively balmy climate of a shore town. We'd pull into a near tropical climate 45 minutes later. South Jersey in the summer is hot and humid. Very hot and very humid. The trees by now were a deep, deep green. The garden we'd begun in May was filled with weeds and vegetables bursting out all over. The grass was high and thick. The house close and hot.

There was no air conditioning in the Wiler house until a few years later. We cooled off with a big ass attic fan that sucked air from below and blew it out a window, essentially creating some sort of breeze. We lay in bed in our sweat and listened to the crickets.

We'd wake up early and run to our bikes and head right to the pool. We spent the day swimming and getting a great tan and working up the nerve to flirt with girls.  Of course we never did. Some of our friends were on the swim team. The Wenonah Swim Club had a great swim team for a little podunk town in South Jersey. I hated swimming on a team. Way too much work. In fact, although I liked swimming in general, the swim club itself could be a trial. I wasn't a particularly fast freestyle swimmer so in our games of tag I was always it.

But then, you've probably heard that before.

We'd end up back at the house for dinner. Then we'd head out to play the Gun Game or Kick the Can or just sit on the porch and watch the world walk by. It was as if we were in heaven. The night was filled with the sounds of cans rattling down the sidewalk, lightning bugs, the chirp of crickets and the sound of sneakers slapping cement.  No, it wasn't as if we were in heaven.  We were in heaven.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

1965: Year of the World's Best Music

I talked a little about the music of that summer of 1965.  But the whole year was filled with ungodly tunes.  Hit after hit after hit.  When I was living in New Brunswick in the '80's there was a band that only played music from 65 & 66.  They played at my second wedding.  But Jack, you say, it couldn't have been that good.  You must be just fondly remembering it; every year is pretty much the same when it comes to music.  Well, here's my proof:  The hits of 1965:

  The Ad Libs - The Boy From New York City - 02-65 - Blue Cat 
Jewel Akens - The Birds And The Bees - 03-65 - Era 
Herb Alpert - A Taste Of Honey - 11-65 - A&M 
Eddy Arnold - Make The World Go Away - 12-65 - RCA 
Len Barry - 1-2-3 - 11-65 - Decca 
Fontella Bass - Rescue Me - 11-65 - Checker 
Shirley Bassey - Goldfinger - 03-65 - UA 
The Beach Boys - California Girls - 08-65 - Capitol 
The Beach Boys - Do You Wanna Dance - 04-65 - Capitol 
The Beach Boys - Help Me, Rhonda - 05-65- Capitol 
The Beatles - Eight Days A Week - 03-65 - Capitol 
The Beatles - Help! - 09-65 - Capitol 
The Beatles - Ticket To Ride - 05-65 - Capitol 
The Beatles - We Can Work It Out - 12-65 - Capitol 
The Beatles - Yesterday - 10-65 - Capitol 
The Beau Brummels - Just A Little - 06-65 - Autumn 
The Beau Brummels - Laugh, Laugh - 02-65 
James Brown - I Got You (I Feel Good) - 11-65 
James Brown - Papa's Got A Brand New Bag - 08-65 - King 
The Byrds  - Mr. Tambourine Man - 06-65 - Columbia 
The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! - 11-65 - Columbia 
Freddy Cannon - Action - 09-65 - Warner 
Mel Carter - Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me - 08-65 - Imperial 
Alvin Cash & The Crawlers - Twine Time - 02-65 - Mar-V-Lus 
The Castaways - Liar, Liar - 10-65 - Soma 
Chad & Jeremy - Willow Weep For Me - 01-65 - World Artists 
Cher - All I Really Want To Do - 08-65 - Imperial 
Petula Clark - Downtown - 01-65 - Warner 
Petula Clark - I Know A Place - 04-65 - Warner 
Sam Cooke - Shake - 02-65 - RCA 
Vic Dana - Red Roses For A Blue Lady - 04-65 - Dolton 
The Dave Clark Five - Any Way You Want It - 01-65 - Epic 
The Dave Clark Five - Catch Us If  You Can - 09-65 - Epic 
The Dave Clark Five - Come Home - 03-65 - Epic 
The Dave Clark Five - I Like It Like That - 07-65 - Epic 
The Dave Clark Five - Over And Over - 12-65 - Epic 
Jackie DeShannon - What The World Needs Now Is Love - 07-65 - Imperial 
Dick & Deedee - Thou Shalt Not Steal - Warner 
Ronnie Dove - One Kiss For Old Time's Sake - 05-65 - Diamond 
Patty Duke - Don't Just Stand There - 08-65 - UA 
Bob Dylan - Like A Rolling Stone - 08-65 - Columbia 
Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street - 10-65 - Columbia 
Shirley Ellis - The Clapping Song - 04-65 - Congress 
Shirley Ellis - The NameGame - 01-65 - Congress 
Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders - Game Of Love - 04-65 - Fontana 
The Fortunes - You've Got Your Troubles - 09-65 - Press 
The Four Seasons - Bye, Bye, Baby (Baby Goodbye) - 02-65 - Philips 
The Four Seasons - Let's Hang On! - 11-65 - Philips 
The Four Tops - I Can't Help Myself - 06-65 - Motown 
The Four Tops - It's The Same Old Song - 08-65 - Motown 
Freddie & The Dreamers - I'm Telling You Now - 04-65 - Tower 
Marvin Gaye - Ain't That Peculiar - 11-65 - Tamla 
Marvin Gaye - How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You - 01-65 - Tamla 
Marvin Gaye - I'll Be Doggone - 05-65 - Tamla 
The Gentrys - Keep On Dancing - 10-65 - MGM 
Gerry & The Pacemakers - Ferry Across The Mersey - 03-65 - Laurie 
Bobby Goldsboro - Little Things - 03-65 - UA 
Dobie Gray - The "In" Crowd - 02-65 - Charger 
Roy Head - Treat Her Right - 10-65 - Back Beat 
Herman's Hermits - Can't You Hear My Heartbeat - 03-65 - MGM 
Herman's Hermits - I'm Henry VIII I Am - 07-65 - MGM 
Herman's Hermits - Just A Little Bit Better - 10-65 - MGM 
Herman's Hermits - Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter - 04-65 - MGM 
Herman's Hermits - Silhouettes - 05-65 - MGM 
Herman's Hermits - Wonderful World - 06-65 - MGM 
The Impressions - Amen - 01-65 - ABC Paramount 
The Impressions - People Get Ready - 03-65 - ABC Paramount 
Horst Jankowski - A Walk In The Black Forest - 06-65 -Mercury 
Jay & The Americans - Cara Mia - 07-65 - UA 
Jay & The Americans - Let's Lock The Door (And Throw Away The Key) - 02-65 - UA 
Jay & The Americans - Some Enchanted Evening - 10-65 - UA 
Jack Jones - The Race Is On - 04-65 - Kapp (written and recorded first by country singer George Jones at the same time on United Artists) 
Tom Jones - It's Not Unusual - 05-65 - Parrot 
Tom Jones - What's New Pussycat? - 07-65 - Parrot 
Bert Kaempfert - Red Roses For A Blue Lady - 03-65 - Decca 
The Kingsmen - The Jolly Green Giant - 02-65 - Wand 
The Kinks - All Day And All Of The Night - 02-65 - Reprise 
The Kinks - Tired Of Waiting For You - 04-65 - Reprise 
Brenda Lee - Too Many Rivers - 07-65 - Decca 
Dickey Lee - Laurie (Strange Things Happen) - 07-65 - TCF Hall 
Barbara Lewis - Baby, I'm Yours - 08-65 - Atlantic 
Barbara Lewis - Make Me Your Baby - 11-65 - Atlantic 
Gary Lewis & The Playboys - Count Me In - 05-65 - Liberty 
Gary Lewis & The Playboys - Everybody Loves A Clown - 10-65 - Liberty 
Gary Lewis & The Playboys - Save Your Heart For Me - 07-65 - Liberty 
Gary Lewis & The Playboys - This Diamond Ring - 02-65 - Liberty 
Little Anthony & The Imperials - Hurt So Bad - DCP 
The Lovin' Spoonful - Do You Believe In Magic - 10-65 - Kama Sutra 
Martha & The Vandellas - Nowhere To Run - 04-65 - Gordy 
Dean Martin - I Will - 12-65 - Reprise 
Barbara Mason - Yes, I'm Ready - 07-65 - Artic 
The McCoys - Fever - 12-65 - Bang 
The McCoys - Hang On Sloopy - 09-65 - Bang 
Barry McGuire - Eve Of Destruction - 09-65 - Dunhill 
Roger Miller - Engine Engine #9 - 06-65 - Smash 
Roger Miller - England Swings - 12-65 - Smash 
Roger Miller - King Of The Road - 02-65 - Smash 
The Miracles - The Tracks Of My Tears - 08-65 - Tamla 
The Moody Blues - Go Now! - 04-65 - London 
The Newbeats - Run, Baby Run (Back Into My Arms) - 11-65 - Hickory 
Patti Page - Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte - 06-65 - Columbia 
Peter & Gordon - I Go To Pieces - 02-65 - Capitol 
Gene Pitney - Last Chance To Turn Around - 06-65 - Musicor 
Elvis Presley - Crying In The Chapel - 05-65 - RCA 
Elvis Presley - I'm Yours - 10-65 - RCA 
Elvis Presley - (Such An) Easy Question - 07-65 - RCA 
The Ramsey Lewis Trio - Hang On Sloopy - 12-65 - Cadet 
The Ramsey Lewis Trio - The "In" Crowd - 09-65 - Argo 
The Righteous Brothers -Ebb Tide - 12-65 - Philles 
The Righteous Brothers - Just Once In My Life - 05-65 - Philles 
The Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melody - 08-65 - Philles 
The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - 01-65 - Philles 
Johnny Rivers - Seventh Son - 06-65 - Imperial 
The Rolling Stones - Get Off Of My Cloud - 10-65 - London 
The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction - 06-65 - London 
The Rolling Stones - The Last Time - 04-65 - London 
Billy Joe Royal - Down In The Boondocks - 08-65 - Columbia 
Billy Joe Royal - I Knew You When - 11-65 - Columbia 
Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs - Wooly Bully - 05-65 - MGM 
The Seekers - I'll Never Find Another You - 04-65 - Capitol 
The Shangri-Las - I Can Never Go Home Anymore - 12-65 - Red Bird 
Del Shannon - Keep Searchin' (We'll Follow The Sun) - 01-65 - Amy 
Silkie - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away - 11-65 - Fontana 
Simon & Garfunkel - The Sounds Of Silence - 12-65 - Columbia 
The Sir Douglas Quintet - She's About A Mover - 06-65 - Tribe 
Sonny - Laugh At Me - 09-65 - Atco 
Sonny & Cher - Baby Don't Go - 10-65 - Reprise 
Sonny & Cher - But You're Mine - 11-65 - Atco 
Sonny & Cher - I Got You Babe - 08-65 - Atco 
Sounds Orchestral - Cast Your Fate To The Wind - 05-65 - Parkway 
The Strangeloves - I Want Candy - 08-65 - Bang 
The Supremes - Back In My Arms Again - 05-65 - Motown 
The Supremes - I Hear A Symphony - 11-65 - Motown 
The Supremes - Nothing But Heartaches - 09-65 - Motown 
The Supremes - Stop! In The Name Of  Love - 03-65 - Motown 
The Temptations - My Girl - 02-65 - Gordy 
Joe Tex - Hold What You've Got - 01-65 - Dial 
The Toys - A Lovers Concerto - 10-65 - Dynovoice 
The Turtles - It Ain't Me Babe - 09-65 - White Whale 
The Vogues - You're The One - 10-65 - Co & Ce 
Jr. Walker & The All Stars - Shotgun - 03-65 - Soul 
We Five - You Were On My Mind - 09-65 - A&M 
Ian Whitcomb - You Turn Me On - 07-65 - Tower 
Wonder Who? - Don't Think Twice - 12-65 - Philips 
Glenn Yarbrough - Baby The Rain Must Fall - 05-65 - RCA 
The Yardbirds - For Your Love - 06-65 - Epic 
The Yardbirds - Heart Full Of Soul - 09-65 - Epic 
The Zombies - Tell Her No - 02-65 - Parrot

Look at all these names!  The Beatles, The Stones, James Brown, Bob Dylan, The Supremes, The Temps, Barry motherfucking McGuire, The Zombies, The Turtles, Sir Douglas Quintet, Dean Martin, Roger Miller, Sonny & Cher!!!!  All mixed up together.  Patty Duke next to Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs!  The Yardbirds & Patty Page!  Herman's Hermits have more hits than the Beatles, more than Elvis.  The crummy and the great all tossed together!  And all of us chuckleheads walking around humming those tunes, strolling down the beach with all that music in our heads, all that wild world.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Boy Scouts of America

Well, I'm going to break my cardinal rule.  I'm going back a bit in time so I can talk about something I forgot.  I talked a bit about this in an earlier post but realized that I had much more to say.  I forgot that in the fall of 1964 I joined the Boy Scouts.  I'd been a Cub Scout and a Webelo (how's that for a weird name) and it was my goal to become a Boy Scout.  So I joined Troop 50.  I was happy as a clam.  We met every Thursday (I think) in the Methodist Church.  There'd be a reading of the minutes, some discussion of various upcoming events, talk about camping trips, a bit of Scout lore and then we'd play various physical games.  Chief among them was British Bulldog.  I have no memory of what this game consisted of; only that it involved mashing into each other very hard.  There must have been rules but who knows.
Our Scout Leader was (and I could be wrong here) Ralph Leeds father and the senior leaders were guys like Kingsley Lentz.  What a great name.  Kingsley.  It was all about the outdoors.  I couldn't wait to go on my first camping trip.  I was excited and happy.
I forgot one minor thing.  I wet the bed.  So we decamped to Elk Neck, Maryland and on the first night I wet my sleeping bag.  You can imagine this might have been a tad embarrassing.  It was.  In fact it was humiliating and then I got to do it again the next night.
I'd wet the bed for my whole life up until then.  My parents took me to Children's Hospital in Philadelphia looking for help, we tried various homemade cures and strategies but nothing worked.  Like clockwork each evening I pissed in my pants.  This was only pleasurable for about two minutes.  Then it was cold and wet.
My bed had plastic sheets.  I couldn't sleep over at other friend's houses. I told no one about my problem.  It was my little secret.
Then my little secret was hanging on a rope in the middle of our camp site.  My soaked sleeping bag.  
I quit the Boy Scouts after that.  I did rejoin several years later but we'll get to that.  Later in the year or perhaps it was Fall of 8th grade my parents found my cure.  It was a rubber mat that they put under the sheets.  When liquids hit the mat it set off a loud, loud alarm.  I would wake up.  Pretty soon I would wake up before the alarm went off.  I was Pavlov's dog.  It worked.  Within a week or two I stopped wetting the bed.  But I've never forgotten the alarm.  I can't stand a bell that rings for more than a moment or two.  I pick up calls before everyone at every job I've ever had.  I've never forgotten my sleeping bag.  Isn't it odd how secrets come back to haunt you?

Monday, March 02, 2009

Ocean City 1965

I'm bored with 7th grade.  Okay, I barely remember 7th grade, it being a long time ago and me being old and forgetful.  So let's cut to the summer of 1965.  A great year no matter how you cut it.  
My family went on vacation this year to Ocean City where we took up residence in two buildings along with several other families from Wenonah and my dad's brother and his family.  It was kid heaven.  Our apartments were right on the beach and we were there for two weeks.  A few times we even got out of school before the year was over to go.
The apartments were all the way at the end of OC.  I think between 56th & 57th streets but I'm sure I'm wrong and someone will tell me in a day or so.  They were simple buildings built in the late fifties.  Living room, sort of dining room, bedrooms, bath, shower outside.  We spent maybe 8 hours a day inside unless it rained.  Besides my family we stayed with our parents friends.  The Lakes, the Shepards, the Pistilli's, the Nugent's and others who came and went but these were the standby's.  This meant we had tons of friends.  Charlie Lake, Debbie Lake, Jack and Joe Shepard, Bruce Nugent, Dave Pistilli.  It also meant we had our own little world on the beach.
On the Saturday we were to leave it would invariably be foggy or rainy and we'd be whining about not being able to have fun and my Dad said, always, don't worry it will burn off.  And it always did.  We drove to OC the back way through Glassboro and Buena, past the Mexican movies in Buena, past the old lost taverns along the way until we arrived at the 34th street bridge and in just twenty odd blocks were at our shore place.
We'd unpack like demons, throw on our trunks, grab our towels and race to the beach and the water and OH MY FUCKING GOD THE WATER IS FREEZING!.  And it was.  This is the 2nd week of June and the water temperature on the Jersey shore is typically 52-56 degrees.  This is bone chilling cold.  Your little balls would get sucked up deep inside you, your ankles would ache a terrible terrible ache but you had to go in, you had to go in.
Our parents would arrive moments later and spread the chairs and blankets around like some rude compound.  Maybe an umbrella, maybe not.  We'd run in and out of the water, hike to the point south of 59th street, explore the gullies and the rocks and our fathers would scope out babes while our mothers...actually I don't know what they were doing.  Probably scoping out young men but this is 1965 so maybe not.
We were there for two weeks.  We played box ball, which is some weird combo of handball and baseball, in which Mr. Lake would usually crush my foot and break my little toe.  We'd play handball.  We'd play frisbee.  We'd body surf.  We'd go to the boardwalk!  The boardwalk! The boardwalk!  The Pavilion! Salt water taffy!  Mack and Manco's pizza!  The cool hobby store that sold Airfix little men!  The Taylor Ham Pork roll store with Pennsylvania Dutch Root Beer!  And of course, of course, Gillian's Wonderland!
The ferris wheel, the merry go round, the rides, the cotton candy, the sheer pleasure in pissing away all the money you had from shoveling snow or raking leaves or from your lazy uncles and aunts at Christmas!  It was the greatest place in the world in 1965 for a mess of chowderheads from South Jersey.  We body surfed, we played, we ogled Penny Pistilli and my Aunt Simone's bikini.  We cursed in a stupid 7th grade way.  We wore clam diggers and stupid hats right out of Beach Blanket Bingo.  
We were in heaven.  

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Fashion and the Sixties

My actual favorite part of HS and Junior HS was clothes and hair.  Not my clothes and not my hair but everyone else's.  Girls in particular were hotter than hot.  Beehive hairdo's, white boots, over use of mascara and eye shadow.  Guys got to wear skinny pants and skinny ties and sharp shoes.  My erotic ideals were all formed in the mid-sixties.  In fact when the punk era reigned supreme I was happy as a pig in shit.  All the women looked like really fierce versions of my high school crushes.  It was like heaven because this time I could do something about it.
Of course in 1965 I could do nothing about it.  It was the first year my mother let me choose my own clothing.  We drove to Pitman and went to Jack Lang's the premier men's and boy's clothing outlet in our little corner of the world.  This made our little corner of the world very small.  We could have driven to Philadelphia and I could have gone to Brook's Brothers or Wanamakers but we didn't.  We went to Pitman.  I picked out my spring school clothes.  An chartreuse Izod LaCoste polo shirt and a pair of vaguely lime green, glen plaid pants.  Also a zip up spring jacket.
We drove from there to Ernie's Shoe Post in Mantua.  At Ernie's I picked out a pair of desert boots.  Plus a pair of PF Flyers.
I was ready to go.  I was going to be one snappy dresser.  What a dope I was.  I would make these mistakes with clothing dozens of times over the years but this stands out as one of my worst.  I walked through the school like a green lollipop.  At least my desert boots were cool.  But I turned no heads.  Instead I retreated further into the world of books and history and all the attendant bullshit of my tiny world.
Next up...Ocean City.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Book Report from Hell

Let’s go back again to 1965 and Gateway Regional HS. For the first time in our lives we move from class to class. There are announcements on the loudspeaker. We pledge allegiance to the flag along with a disembodied voice. We have new classes, English instead of Reading, Earth Science instead of Science, Mathematics not Arithmetic, and on and on.
My English teacher was Mrs. Oglesby. For our first book report we are asked to do a presentation along with several other students. The presentation would summarize the book and illustrate the reasons you liked it. Nightmare. Horrible, horrible nightmare. Out loud performance was not my thing in 7th grade. You can probably understand since I was a midgety, skinny runt with a cowlick. My voice was as high as a birds. I felt like some monstrous geek and I was.
But there was no way out. As I recall I was hooked up with Jim Maddox and Steven Kaye and the book we selected was “Last of the Mohicans”. This was just about the only part of the assignment I liked. I was a James Fenimore Cooper freak. I read all his books. Books that were universally reviled by any competent writer or critic. But they had war and Indians and sacrifice and forests and blood and an acceptable amount of romance.
The girls all picked “Rebecca”.
This killed us right from the git go. :Rebecca” is a fairly easily summarized story while “Last of the Mohicans” has a jumbled up plot that isn’t clear for a hundred pages. Plus the girls were better at this. Their presentations were funny and inventive and informative. Thank God I can’t remember ours. I do remember it was a miserable failure. We tanked. I remember slinking away from the front of the class thankful only that we’d finished.
This deep sense of embarrassment and humiliation was to walk just behind me till senior year. You can only imagine what a joy it was to go to school each day.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

So Much Time So little work

Hi all,
Sorry I've been a lazy fuck.
So, before I give you my post about Wenonah in 1965 let me remind you of three things dear to my heart.
First, Barack Obama was sworn in as President of the United States of America.  Given that there was only one black girl in my class at Gateway Regional HS and given that I drove through a black neighborhood with outhouses to get to high school this is a wonderful moment in American history.
Second, two events dear to my heart and poetry were set aside this year.  The Geraldine R Dodge Poetry Festival and the Frost Place Festival of Poetry.  I could say lots of shit about this but mostly it sucks that money kills an art that makes no money and enriches peoples lives. 
Manana... or maybe Friday... Book reports, Rebecca, and the Last of the Mohicans.
God Bless, Good Night, and my regrets on the passing of my dear friend Rick Sonnenberg, known to many of us as Rick Lopez.  Death comes and steals away and the best are caught in his arms.

Monday, January 05, 2009

New Year's Eve

When I was young my brothers and I were banished to my grandmother’s house on New Year’s Eve. There we drank half an illicit beer and ate ham sandwiches and watched Guy Lombardo ring in the new. That is if we didn’t fall asleep because of the beer.

Or else my grandmother and Aunt Gersh would come to the house and we’d do the same thing in Wenonah as we would in Bala Cynwyd. My parents were engaged in adult fun. We had no idea what adult fun was. So far as we could tell from our few exposures to a grown up party it consisted of laughing loud, drinking, and smoking and staying up late. This did not seem fun. Plus they played the Mills Brothers and Perry Como.

They did not go out to fancy night clubs, they went to friends houses and checked in by phone. No real need to do that as we had been trained well and staying up till midnight was extraordinarily difficult. So it was that my brothers and my little sister and I rang in the New Year of 1965. It may have been that year that my parents had the party at their home. I can remember vaguely one such party so let’s call it that one.

I was sitting at the end of my bed with my cat, Surprise. The warm tones of Frank Sinatra filled the night. There was a woman’s high laugh. The light from our back porch shown out onto the lawn and the clear night sky was lit up with a thousand stars. Happy New Year and noise and fireworks and honking and then the music again and sleep.
I woke the next morning to a house full of half-empty glasses that smelled of whiskey and ginger ale, overflowing ashtrays, and a house as quiet as a morgue.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holly, Jolly, Christmas in 1964

I talked earlier about our Christmases but think it’s worth revisiting since Mick and Ted and I are all older and we have a young sister, Mary Lou. In December of 1964 I was officially a teenager, thirteen. Mick was eleven and a half and Ted seven and a half. Mick and I were hip to Santa being our parents but Ted and Mary Lou still believed. Ted had serious doubts but Ted worked hard at holding onto the good things in his childhood and didn’t want to let Santa go.

Our Christmas ritual was to put up the lights outside on Thanksgiving weekend. This effort took about half a day and Mick and I “helped” our Dad. Our help was limited since we were inept but we were able to untangle the lights and hand my Dad various tools. We had a wrap around porch surrounded by bushes so the bushes and doors were ringed with lights.

After my birthday and my father’s birthday (14th & 15th) Dad would buy the tree. The tree was always, always, gigantic. We had twelve foot ceilings so we’d get a twelve foot tree. The tree sat outside in a bucket filled with water in an alcove off the front porch. It would not be put up till Christmas Eve morn.

We might also go to Gaudio’s to see the light displays and pick out ornaments. Gaudio’s was a garden center in Woodbury, long vanished, that had a huge selection of Christmas decorations to supplement their gardening business. If we went to visit our Grandmother Glading in Pennsylvania we’d drive back admiring the various light displays. Not as elaborate as todays but to us, astounding. I’m telling you this because really and truly none of us cared that much about anything except Christmas morning and that never came fast enough.

Finally it would be Christmas Eve! My mother would spend the day baking cookies and making stuffing for the turkey. My father and Mick and I would lug in the tree and set it in the stand my parent’s had owned since I was a baby. Christmas tree stands pretty much sucked back then so we’d use wire to keep the tree from falling. My Dad would stand on a chair and nail one end into the wall then wrap it around the tree and repeat the process till the tree was stable and straight. Or kind of straight. Then it would sit all day, unadorned, till after dinner so its branches could fall.

Mick and I would go to our rooms in the afternoon and attempt to wrap the presents we’d purchased for our parent’s and our brothers and sister. I mangled package after package. Then dinner, hopefully pizza or cheesesteaks, and then we’d trim the tree. My Dad had a system and Mick and I learned it well. Large balls at the bottom, medium balls in the middle, and small ones at the top. We’d alternate between tinsel and garlands depending on my mother’s moods. Then we’d hang our stockings in the 2nd living room on the bookshelf and sit down together in the living room. My mother would sit with Ted and Mary Lou on either side and read, first the Christmas Story, about the birth of Christ and second, Twas the Night Before Christmas. It was wonderful. Cheesy but wonderful.

Finally we’d place our gifts beneath the tree, set out Santa’s cookies and milk and then it was off to bed. Mick and I had recently been relegated to the attic for a bedroom and we went up and tried to sleep. The night passed. Slowly. Santa’s reindeer landed, somehow found a way to get him in our house, and left to spread more Christmas cheer. We tried to sleep. We played chess. We tried to sleep.

Then it’s 6am and Christmas morning and we all run to our parents room to wake them up. It’s the house rules that you can’t go downstairs Christmas morning until Dad checked to make sure Santa wasn’t there. Once we’d get the all clear we hurtled down the stairs to see the heaps and heaps of presents. Mom and Dad would pass them out from piles they’d set up the night before (or rather Santa had set up the night before) and we’d tear them to pieces.

After we’d finished with the presents we’d empty our stockings. Our stocking stuffers were a kind of weird mix of the 1930’s and the present. We’d get little toys or funny things but also, always, a tangerine. A tangerine? I never understood this until I realized late in life that this would have been a rare treat for a child in an America still stuck in the Great Depression. For us though it was just a piece of fruit. Admittedly we didn’t often have tangerines in the Wiler house. Most of our experience with actual fruit, not canned fruit, was limited to apples, sometimes grapes, bananas, and in the summer peaches and blueberries. Oranges and Tangerines would only show up once in awhile…too expensive I think.

After opening the presents Mom and Dad sat on the couch and watched us play with our new gifts. They always seemed very happy. Mick and I would then go to our friends houses to see what they’d gotten and Dad would be left to pick up the mess with Mom. When we returned we’d walk up the block to visit our Grandmother Wiler and get gifts from her. Finally we’d sit down to turkey dinner. Sometimes relatives would drop by with relative gifts. My fathers Uncle John and Aunt Eleanor or our Grandmother Glading and our Aunt Gersh all might stop by to share the day.

It was and is my favorite holiday. I don’t look at it with cynicism or dread. Tonight Johanna and I will be joined by her mother and sister and nephews and our dear friends. We’ll eat and drink and sing and laugh. It’s Christmas! In the words of Tiny Tim, “God Bless Us, Everyone!”

Saturday, December 13, 2008

They're Dancing in the Streets

It's an easy seque from my stupid dance lessons to my first dance.  Spring, 1965.  The cafeteria is converted into a wonderland and the girls and boys of Gateway go to their first dance.  Hop.  Keep in mind that in truth I had no idea how to really dance to the music that was popular among young people.  In fact, I hardly listened to music that was popular.  Oh sure, I knew about the Beatles and every once in awhile I'd hear music on the radio or watch Shindig or Hullabaloo but my musical world was largely shaped by my parent's listening habits.  Which means I was raised on the Mills Brothers, Andy Williams, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett...ad infinitum.  And the worst of all the worst: "Sing Along With Mitch".  No, there were actually worse acts but my mind has graciously deleted them.
So now I was going to Gateway to dance to the music of my generation.  At least as it stood at that time.  I was going to gyrate wildly to the Twist and the Mash Potato and the Swim and swig soda and fall in love and kiss a beautiful girl under the moon.  Then ride home with my folks and sleep happy with a smile on my face.
Wrong.
I was going to get dressed in a stupid Madras jacket with a clip on tie and tight cords and walk for the first time into the most uncomfortable experience of my life.  Sure, I talked to girls in school.  You kind of had to.  And yes I wore clothes and I'd taken dance lessons and I knew about music.  But I had no idea how all these things went together and I was about to find out how little I really knew.
I should tell you that, at least in Westville, there were CYO dances that kids had been going to for awhile.  Some kids from Wenonah might even go earlier in the year.  This means that they had a leg up on us chuckleheads.  This means that they were more comfortable, knew how to dance, had cool clothes, a cool haircut and could walk up to any girl they knew and ask for a dance.  I, on the other hand, was expert at standing next to the wall.
So this is the way things were.  A row of a dozen or more skinny boys with their backs pressed against the newly painted cinder block.  Groups of girls with cups of punch huddled together, giggling, looking here and there.  And in the middle girls and boys all with cool clothes and hair dancing and having a great time.  This great divide was to be my world for the next 4 years or so.  Cursed and alone we geeks clustered together like fools.  Out on the floor girls and boys laughed and hugged and kissed and had great fun.  
The saddest part is how all of this is about confidence and courage.  In fact all of us felt the same way.  It's just that some of us said fuck it and walked away from the wall.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Dance Lessons

I may be off a bit here.  In my dotage I'm not sure if these events took place in 7th or 8th grade.  I asked several classmates and they were as clueless as I am.  So I figure since it's my blog I'll make it 7th grade.  In Wenonah when I was a teenager the parents all felt we required some education in the social graces.  Specifically ballroom dancing.  None of us shared their opinion but this seemed to be a non-negotiable issue.  By banding together the parents insured that none of us could say, "but Jack Wiler doesn't have to go".  Even worse they used social pressure and hounded us as we visited each others homes.  
So it was that in early winter we were herded to the Presbyterian Church along with the grade below us to learn how to dance.  We had two instructors, a man and a woman, and they loved their work.  We did not.  We began with simple steps; the Box Step, the Fox Trot, and moved onto more elaborate things like waltzes and sambas.  It was torture.  Torture for so many, many reasons.  First we had to dress up in good clothes, second we had to dance with girls or vice versa boys, third, we were not given a choice of who we would dance with.  Our partners were assigned according to an arcane formula.
And so we whirled across the floor of the multi-purpose room of the Presbyterian Church, twenty or thirty young men and women with pimples and greasy hair or odd clothing or weird heads.  All of us forced to comport ourselves as ladies and gentlemen.
We did this for about eight weeks.  The final week we had a formal dance (suits and ties, dresses) and a dance contest.  And we all wanted to win.  Go figure.  This thing we hated we now wanted to excel at and we took pride in our ability to glide effortlessly across the floor.
I'm sad to report that this class has really had only one benefit in my life...when I go to a wedding I can do a mean foxtrot.  Otherwise in the real world of young men and women dancing it was a waste of time.  Next...going to my first dance at Gatorland.